Welcome again to The Franchise, where I examine and analyze entire bodies of work – discographies, filmographies, works in a series, etc. While the last installment was focused on all the video games in a particular franchise, this time around I am going to talk about the full...
Well hey there, Oratory.
First of all, I haven’t written for this site in a very long time. Over a decade, in my estimation. In that time my life has completely changed, and those of you who remember me might be glad to know that since I last wrote here I’ve made writing into my career....
I meant to get this up before the new year, but here it is only a couple days later than expected. I'd been out of the loop lately, so I threw myself right into it and caught up as much as I could to bring you this column, so you'd better appreciate it, dammit.
If you're sensitive, you may not want to read this. Herein is a frank discussion of death and all of its nuances, why you shouldn't be feeling sorry for yourselves, and a generally bitchy attitude from yours truly. If now is not the right time for you to hear it, move along.
Unforgiven 2005 Review & Great American Bash 2005 Review included.
So I went on another reviewing binge because I missed a couple. Here's three PPVs for you to snack on, some of it's nice and pretty, some of it isn't. So like, go on with your bad self and read it.
Getting this up a tad early because I'm leaving for the weekend, and may not be back before Summerslam on Sunday. This is the first PPV in awhile that I've been interested in, but sadly my regular Bottom Line partner is absent. Who did I get to replace her? Well, we all know she could never truly be replaced, but I did get a pretty good stand-in.
[Includes bonus No Way Out review that you probably don't care about!]
Mark and Lauren are back in a brand new column to review "the big one", Wrestlemania. Meanwhile, Mark is experiencing excruciating headaches, and Lauren seeks a way to open the hatch she found in the jungle. Oh wait...I think I've been watching too much TV. Anyway, Wrestlemania preview!
Not so long ago, many of us were heavily anticipating what was sure to be an intriguing and possibly deep angle involving Muhammad Hassan, and showing the many facets of cultural diversity and paranoia in the US. Instead, it turned out much like every other racial angle we've seen before.
Plus Bonus No Way Out 2005 Preview!
Yeah, you care. You know you do. Even if you don't care about the PPVs, you care what *I* think. Do not deny this. I have forseen the future, and clicking on this column is your destiny. You're not going to deny your destiny, are you?
Well wouldn't you know it, it's Rumble time again. You probably know what to expect, don't you? Well this time there's a little surprise inside. It involves a conniving backup plan, espionage, and murder. Okay, it doesn't involve the latter two, but I'll give you a hint:
It's not pie.
It's here! It's finally here! This retrospective column takes you on a trip through 2004, from the worst PPV of the year, all the way up to the best. Through the highs and lows, I'll take you back through some great memories that left you on a great emotional high, and some things you wish you could scour your brain with a Brillo pad to never remember again.
Will 2005 start out a good year in PPVs, or will it flop? Well this teaser text certainly isn't going to tell you, because that would give it all away, and then I just wrote a bunch of words for nothing. So click. No, not here, on the column title, genius.
I didn't 'get' what the name was until a couple weeks ago, when it dawned on me that it was a pun on the phrase "new year's resolution". Then I felt stupid. If you feel stupid now too, come and join me for my preview. Actually, join me even if you don't feel stupid. I welcome all levels of intelligence.