GORE GORE GORE – Friday the 13th The Final Chapter

This movie is titled the Final Chapter because Paramount had decided that the Friday movies were bad for their image and this was to be the last one, a decision they stuck with about as long as it took me to write this sentence. I’ve actually been looking forward to this review for a long time, because it meant I got to watch this movie again. It is my favorite of the Friday sequels for many reasons that I am about to get into. If I could watch only one sequel of the series, it would be this one.

The movie starts with a recap of not only the last movie, but all the movies up to this point. I guess they wanted a full summary since this was to be the last Friday the 13th movie. After the recap the film returns to the end of the third movie, only it’s at night, and raining now. I guess it takes a long time to catalog evidence when you have double digit dead people. An Ambulance comes along and they were given the lovely task of taking a dead Jason back to the hospital. There are several little hints that Jason is still alive, like subtle movements and such. This proves that the police and paramedics of Crystal Lake aren’t very good if telling if people are dead or not. In the hospital morgue Jason comes to and murders the coroner named Axel with a surgical saw to the throat, and for some reason he goes elsewhere in the hospital to kill a nurse with a before he leaves for the Lake. He is able to kill the coroner because the lazy ass didn’t bother to shut the door on the cold chamber they keep bodies in. I guess it was just too much effort.

With Jason back on his way to the Lake (pausing to kill a fat hitchhiker girl eating a banana), it’s time we talk about the main cast of the movie, of which there are many, and they are awesome (mostly).

Our main heroine in this movie is Trish. She’s rather generic in character, which normally would make me not as enthusiastic about a movie, but her co heroes are so good they make up for Blandy here. Trish lives with her family on another side of Crystal Lake (again how big is this freaking lake?) next door to a house that a group of vacationing teenagers rent (Another question. How many murders do there have to be before people stop vacationing to this town. The answer according to this series is all the murders, because people keep coming). Trish may not be an interesting character, but she is way better acted than Chris in the last movie. Unlike Chris I can actually empathize with Trish and not want her to die, well at least as much as you can with a generic character.

Trish has a little brother, and he is very much the star of this movie. His name is Tommy (named and inspired by effects artist Tom Savini though everyone likes to deny that) and he is played by the man (boy at the time), the myth, the legend, Corey Feldman. That’s right, this is one of Feldman’s earliest roles and he is absolutely perfect here. Tommy is a weird little kid who makes movie quality latex masks as a hobby. He also plays the greatest space shooter game of its era, Zaxxon. I had the same game when I was a kid. Tommy is weirdly smart for a young boy, knowing how to fix cars and everything. I know this because there is actually a scene where he tries to fix the family car when it breaks down. If you don’t like Tommy you have no soul because he instantly gives you a good guy you want to root for.

There is a second co hero in this movie is a guy named Rob, he’s come to Crystal Lake specifically to kill Jason. Some time earlier Jason killed Rob’s sister and he wants revenge. This had to happen between the first and second movies (though this movie indicates in a continuity error that his sister was Sandra from the second movie) because the second third and fourth movie all happen over a couple of days. Rob is one of the most competent characters in Slasher movie history. He comes fully prepared to take Jason down, with knives, and even a rifle. He claims he’s hunting bears (which Tommy calls him out on) at first but later comes clean to Trish why he was really there. Rob shows up just in time to help Tommy fix the family car. They instantly trust Rob (Kinda weird considering he’s armed like a soldier) and give him a ride. Tommy even takes him to show him all his cool masks he made. Rob was ready to take on Jason, and perhaps had he not met our main heroes, he could have, but Rob died while searching with Bland Trish.

Trish and Tommy live with their Mother, Mrs. Jarvis who isn’t in very many scenes and is killed off screen. Apparently a scene where Trish finds her body was filmed, but wasn’t used. I don’t know why, as it would provide good motivation for Trish and Tommy.

The teens who rent the house next door are your standard Slasher stereotypes, though thankfully there are no shoe horned in offensive token characters in this one.

Paul is the dumb horny jock character who wears an outfit and hat that hipsters today would wear and call ironic because they have no idea what irony is. Paul is kind of a dick, he starts flirting with another character while his girlfriend is still in the room. She storms out and he goes to look for her, eventually, like twenty minutes later.

Paul’s girlfriend is named Samantha. She’s the get naked and show her boobs character for this movie. She’s also kind of a bitch as she scares her best friend by pretending to drown. When she storms off she decides to get naked and swims out to a raft on the lake, because that’s what you do when you’re angry at your boyfriend I guess. It’s while she’s out on the lake that Jason kills her by stabbing her from underneath the raft. This is a magic raft you see as it stays floating long enough for Paul to show up like twenty minutes later and find her body. This is when Jason jumps out of the water and shoots him with a harpoon in the happy sack. The scene with the raft has entered Jason movie lore, as it was filmed in the dead of winter (what kind of dick makes people swim naked in a lake in the middle of winter?) and the actress playing Samantha got so cold she started to cry. The stuntman playing Jason in this movie threatened to quit unless the director gave her time to warm up, because the director was a bastard and wanted to keep filming. I guess he was trying to emulate the Hitchcock/Kubrick method of getting realistic performances by actually terrorizing the actresses.

This movie also has a couple in love. Aww, how sweet. Their names are Doug and Sara. Sara is afraid of sex and hasn’t yet had it with Doug. We know this because she tells Samantha this. This little mini story is really all the character development these two get. Eventually she does decide to have sex with Doug (whore) in the shower, and then she leaves to the bedroom. This is a 180 from the standard have sex in bed then one leaves for the shower scene. That’s why this movie is great; it changes up the formula so much. Okay that’s not really the reason this movie is wonderful. Doug gets his skull crushed against the wall by Jason. When Sara returns and finds his body, she runs to the locked front door where Jason throws an ax THROUGH the door and into her chest. Jason is pretty strong for a deformed mongoloid that grew up in the woods.

Another pairing in this movie are the twins Terri and Tina. The twins serve two purposes in this movie, to be pretty twins, and be sluts. Terri is unsuccessful in her sluttery as Paul decides to go find his girlfriend and she doesn’t want to sleep with the remaining boy. Tina does in fact have a successful slut encounter. Terri angry that no one is humping her decides to leave and it is then that Jason stabs her through with a spear. Tina dies later because after her sex she looks out the window where Jason is standing and he yanks her out throwing her onto the car.

The last two characters I’m going to talk about are a pair of friends. The first of which is named Ted (TED!). Ted is your joker dick like his unpunished namesake in the 2nd movie. Ted is absolutely obnoxious to everyone around him; he pretends to use an invisible computer and insults people with the results. He tries to sleep with both twins Terri rejects him outright and Tina instead sleeps with his friend, who he was insulting earlier about his failures with women. I instantly disliked Ted for his behavior and the fact that he called back to the former Ted. When Ted gets stabbed in the face through a movie screen he was watching vintage porn on, I do a little fist pump in celebration.

I saved the best character for last. Jimmy is Ted’s friend and he’s played by Crispin Glover. Yes THAT Crispin Glover. Jimmy is everything you would want out of a Crispin Glover character. He’s strange and quirky. Hearing George McFly say “god I’m horny” cracks me up every single time. Then there is his dance. His dance is absolutely wonderful in its absurdity. When Jimmy gets to sleep with Tina, I felt happy for him. You go Jimmy, get yourself some twin slut. After he sleeps with her he walks down stairs and shoves her panties in Ted’s face and says “Why don’t you run that through your computer?” Jimmy is awesome. He along with Tommy is why this movie is so incredible. Jimmy does have to die though. He goes looking for a corkscrew to open a bottle of wine to celebrate his conquest. Jason got the corkscrew first (because he’s psychic now) and stabs Jimmy’s hand to the counter with it before burying a cleaver in his face. Jimmy died how he lived, awesomely.

The final battle in this movie is a little different than the previous one, because Jason has three people trying to escape him, Trish, Rob and Tommy. Trish and Rob go to check on Tommy after Rob tells Trish about Jason. Tommy up to this point is okay, so they decide to go check on the house of dead teenagers next door. First they find no one, so they venture down into the Basement with the Jarvis’ dog Gordon. Gordon gets spooked and runs away jumping through a window. Trish goes to follow him, and that’s where she finds the dead body of Doug. She screams and runs back down stairs to warn Rob, who is then promptly killed by Jason; so much for revenge.

Trish flees the teen’s house and returns to her own, locking the door and her and Tommy nail it shut. This only momentarily deters Jason, who throws Rob’s corpse through a window, then comes through another window after Tommy. Trish fights off Jason, so she and Tommy can flee up stairs. They lock themselves in Tommy’s bedroom. Jason bursts through the front door and works his way up to break through Tommy’s door. It is here that Trish slams a computer monitor on his head (this family had two computers, in the 80s. Must be rich). Jason recovers and chases Trish back to the rental house.

Tommy at this point sees a photo of Jason as a boy in one of Rob’s newspaper clippings. Being the smartest character in Slasher movie history, he puts a plan into action by shaving himself bald. Trish meanwhile runs all through the other house, until trapped she jumps out of a second story window to get away. She survives the fall and limps back to her own house, where Jason follows. She strikes Jason a couple of times with Rob’s machete, managing to cut his hand. He gets a hold of her but is stopped by a now bald Tommy who distracts him long enough for Trish to pick up the machete and swing it. She cuts off Jason’s mask to show his deformed face (plus two movies of damage). She is so horrified that she drops the machete and backs away. Tommy then swoops in and grabs the blade, burying it in Jason’s head. Tommy and Trish hug for a moment, but Tommy sees Jason’s fingers twitch. This causes Tommy to grab the machete and start hacking away at Jason screaming die. This is an effective method because Jason is finally killed, for real this time. This is when Jason dies for the first time.

The scene then fades to Trish in the Hospital where she talks with the doctor who says Tommy is traumatized but okay. She goes into Tommy’s room and hugs him. He hugs her back and then gives a creepy stare into the camera and the movie ends.

I cannot begin to say how much I like this move. Next to the first one it’s the best in the whole series. It has great characters, good acting, fun kills, and the Glover Dance. This and the first film are the Friday movies I watch the most. I really enjoy this movie as a fan of Slasher films. If you haven’t seen this movie you should check it out. You won’t be disappointed.