The Dead Liver Society #4 – Rogue Brewing: Voodoo Bacon Maple Ale

DRINK BEER!

Hey everyone. DAVE here back with another edition of the Dead Liver Society. Today, we tackle a vicious, vicious dirty whore of a beer. A beer that should never have been created. A beer that the Devil himself must of concocted on his most fiendish of conquests.

The beer I am speaking of is Rogue Brewing’s Voodoo Bacon Maple Ale. </shudders>

A collaboration with Voodoo Doughnuts, this beer is nothing but liquid failure in a pink bottle.

Let’s get the specs out of the way before we begin to talk about this absolutely mind-boggling piece of brewing.

Beer Name:  Voodoo Bacon Maple Ale

Brewery: Rogue Brewing

Type: Smoked Beer (Crap)

ABV: 5.60%

First impressions:

Well, the bottle is cool I’ll say that. My son keeps insisting that it’s strawberry milk. I wish it was..

Yuck

Apparently, this fine example of everything wrong with experimental brewing has 12 ingredients:

Briess Cherrywood Smoked Malt, Weyermann Beechwood Smoked Malt, House-smoked Hickory Malt, Great Western 2 Row, Munich, C15, C75 Malts; Applewood-Smoked Bacon, Pure Maple Flavoring, Rogue Micro Hopyard Revolution & Independent Hops, Free Range Coastal Water & Pacman Yeast

They all suck.

Yuck again

Another look at the list on the bottle..

Yuck again

I should of known what I was getting into by reading that list.

Color/Appearance:

This is not a bad looking beer. To be fair, it’s really nice looking. The pour reveals a very clear honey brown with a 1 1/2 head full of stiff bubbles. It’s a very handsome beer..but looks can be deceiving.

Yuck again

When held up to the light, the clarity and rich color of this beer really shine through. How cruel this wench is..

Yuck again

Aroma:

This beer smells great! To start, a very appealing and sweet maple smell invades your nose from all sides. This is followed up by a nice smoky bacon smell with some malt peeking out in the background. It smells very inviting..a hoax not soon forgotten! my friends! Do not be fooled..it doesn’t taste like a donut in any way.

Taste:

Yuck again

FUCK THIS SHIT.

There is nothing good about this beer’s taste. It invades you like a smoke-filled STD..infecting every pore and crevice of your body with a horrifyingly bad (and fake) smoke odor and taste. I am still burping it up..my God it is replusive. It just..lingers..in your nose, on your tongue. It’s truly one of the worst things I’ve ever drank. Worse than Bud, worse than any mass-produced beer on the market. Worse than Natural Ice..my god there is something worse than Natural Ice?

Where is the maple flavor? Where have all the other flavors gone? All I taste is vile, vile smoke. I hate this beer. I hate this beer so much I want to stop drinking beer. Why God? Why?!?!!?

I’d like to send a gigantic middle finger to the “brewmaster” who came up with this sadistically horrid beer I just did this too..

Yuck again

Overall:

This beer can go right to Hell. It’s disgusting. It’s horrible. It’s like the worst thing ever put into a beer bottle and it’s damn expensive too! Stay far, far away from this crap. If you see the person who came up with this, punch them in the mouth. I warned you. I’m going to go vomit now.

DAVE SAYS 0 OUT OF 5 BURPS

This beer is a complete waste of everything ever. It’s a real piece of monkey crap. Next up from DAVE, Lindemans Faro Lambic (it’s better than this crap).

Don’t be an asshole. Don’t drink and drive!

Contact info: dls@the-oratory.com
http://www.the-oratory.com